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How can I quit marijuana when my husband is still smoking it?

  • anonymous Asks ...

    My husband and I are both long time marijuana smokers (him 18 years, me 12 years). I am tired of the habit and want to quit. He still loves it and never wants to stop smoking. It would be hypocritical of me to tell him to quit. Unfortunately, with him still smoking multiple times per day it is very hard for me to get past my own cravings and I keep relapsing despite my good intentions. How can I quit when it’s all around me all the time, in my own home? I still love him dearly, by the way, so leaving him for this is not an option on the table.

  • Mark Hughes Says ...
    Mark Hughes

    Quitting something is difficult at any time, but as you're finding, it is especially difficult without changing the situation around you. Your husband smoking clearly makes it much harder for you to focus on yourself, and instead you're finding yourself experiencing your craving and being reminded of your own smoking and the effects you were enjoying.

    I think it would help if you had his co-operation, but asking him to quit if he doesn't want to might have the opposite effect.

    I suggest you talk to him about what you want for yourself, why it is important for you to quit, and then explain that you would like him to help you, but that his smoking is making it difficult. Give him the chance to think about it, ask if he can think of ways to help you but be aware this is something you want for yourself, and he isn't obliged to help you. You may resent him for not helping, but the responsibility is really still yours. Perhaps there are other things you can do to help yourself? One of course is in seeking help here, so keep on looking for ways to help yourself.

    Let me know how you get on. It is great that you are trying to make positive changes for yourself, and giving up marijuana is a big challenge when it has been a long term habit. You can expect to struggle, to relapse, and it is very much harder to do without support from those around you. So perhaps try to cut down first, or to be kind to yourself if you relapse. Seek out other things to do - things you like and which are good for you - at the times you know it is most difficult for you.

    Good luck and if you like, let me know how you get on.


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