What can I do to help my mom who is very obese? I am scared she is going to die but she won’t listen to me!
anonymous Asks ...
What can I do to help my mom who is very obese and I am worried about her health. I think she is addicted to food. She is 36 and she has diabetes and high blood pressure. I do not know how much she weighs because she will not tell me but it is probably around 300 pounds. She tells me she does not have a problem but I think she is addicted to sugar for sure and junk food. I am scared she is going to die but she won’t listen to me!
William Anderson Says ...
I think you have a very good grasp of the situation. It's very hard to watch someone you love in the grip of a potentially deadly addiction and it's not unusual for your loved one to completely deny the problem and do nothing to change, even when it is hurting them and everyone around them.
Al-Anon is an organization that was formed to help families of addicts. It was originally formed to help the partners and children of alcoholics, but the issues and problems that are present with all addictions are similar. If you click on the link and start learning what that will lead you to, you'll be on the way to doing exactly what you need to do to help yourself and your mom to deal with this very troubling problem.
It will also help you to understand more by reading my book, The Anderson Method . That will educate you about food addiction and weight control science so that you can avoid being led astray by a lot of the weight loss nonsense that is advertised in the weight loss marketplace, a terrible jungle of misinformation and medical quackery.
You don't say how old you are, but with your mom being 36, you must be a young person. I admire your maturity and concern for your mom and I advise you to talk about this with another adult that can help you, like a counselor at school or church. You want to make sure the adult you talk to is trained in professional counseling, because a lot of well-meaning adults can advise you improperly if they do not know what they are doing from a clinical or psychological perspective.
Whatever you do, try to avoid being critical or shaming. Sometimes people think that put-downs, nagging and guilt mongering will help, but that only makes things worse. Do tell your mom how much you love her and how scared you are. Ask her to get help from a qualified professional.
Please take the suggestions I've made here and write back to let me know what happens.