Forgiveness: The Gift You Give Yourself
anonymous Asks ...
Is it ever healthy to refuse to forgive someone? I have a spiritual teacher who says life is short, forgive everyone today and leave your hurt and anger behind. But I am not sure I can forgive some of the people from my past and if I do it seems like I trivialize the very not trivial things that were done to me?
Loren Gelberg-Goff Says ...
As challenging as forgiveness may seem to be, your spiritual teacher is spot on. Forgiveness is absolutely NOT about those who caused you pain! Forgiveness is NOT about trivializing the events. Forgiveness is allowing you to move forward with freedom in your life. As long as you hold on to the events that have occurred, as terrible as they may have been, YOU suffer, and YOU are in pain. The others... they have gone on with their lives. Please note, that events that have occurred already, have already happened. Nothing you do or say will undo them. Forgiveness lets you move forward. Getting the guidance and support you need to deal with the injuries, whatever they were, can happen through counseling, forgiveness workshops, spiritual guidance, books, etc. There are options available to you, but I strongly recommend that you do the forgiveness work to empower your life and improve your overall health and well-being.
Not forgiving is like you drinking poison and expecting someone else to get sick...Forgiving is letting go of all hope for a better past...
In September, I'll be doing an all day Forgiveness Workshop (www.workshopsbybeingwellwithin.com) There is a good online program starting in August (http://www.howtoforgive-ecourse.com/registration/ with Sheri Rosenthal) Colin Tipping also offers many forgiveness programs (www.radicalforgiveness.com)
I wrote an article with some exercises in it to help with forgiveness. If you would like it, please send me an e-mail and I'll get it to you. I guess, the bottom line is, for your own sake, please forgive... it will be the best gift you ever give yourself. (Loren@beingwellwithin.com)