Gambling- The black pit of debt
anonymous Asks ...
This is really messed up. I started with online poker about 6 months ago and for a while I was doing really well. At one point I was up more than ten thousand $. Now I am down almost the same amount and the big problem is I have borrowed money from my employer to pay off some of my debts thinking I only needed a short term loan and now I don’t have the money I need to pay off my new loans, and I am getting a lot of pressure pay up. I have about 1500 and I need at least 5000 by next week.
A big part of me seriously wants to gamble for the money but a small part of me knows that this is just digging the whole deeper – another part of me just doesn’t really care and just wants to get online and play. I am so stressed out and that just makes the urge to play stronger. I need to get control of myself now or I am going to lose it all. How can I stop gambling right away? What do I have to do to get back in control?
Donna Hunter Says ...
It sounds like you know that you are not going to become rich by gambling. That is a start. It also seems that you are beginning to see the connection between gambling addiction and the craving to use despite the negative consequences. The gambling at this point has triggered off a response in your brain. Your logical self knows it is a dead end street. Your emotional self is looking for the next big high. The trouble is that with any addiction- gambling included, you are chasing your first high/win. You will never have a first win again. It will never feel as good.
So how do you quit right now. Go to Gamblers Anonymous. Go to their website, read their literature, get away from the computer at times that you are most vulnerable- times you used to play. If possible unplug all together. Spending time with recovering addicts is the best way to get clean. They have been there, done that. They know when you are fooling yourself because they have tried the same tricks: managing use, trying to put artificial controls into the behavior etc. That is only a temporary fix. They say with addiction there are only three consequences of use- go insane, die or recover. You are experiencing the insanity; trying to continue to use, feeling helpless, frustrated and knowing the shame of use. Dying comes when the consequences of use are too much; suicide, taking a loan from the wrong people. Recovery means learning how to live life without gambling and without using any addiction as a way to deal with feelings and negative beliefs about yourself.
The choice is yours, everyone has a bottom. The question is how low do you have to go before you get help.