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Should I believe a crackhead who says he'll quit?

  • anonymous Asks ...

    I just caught my brother in law smoking crack in our garage. My sister has already thrown him out of the house once before  for his drugs and because he was bringing it into the house and around their two young kids who are only 14 months and 4 years old. 

    He begged me not to tell his wife. He told me he was trying to quit and he was just having a hard time, but I am not sure if I should believe him.

    He is a really great guy that I like a lot and that was very good to my sister before the drugs got bad about a year ago. He swore to me if I didn't say anything he would start going to NA meetings and find a treatment program this week.

    I don't know if I am being foolish to believe him or if I finally have some leverage to help him?

    What I want to know, is , is this a stupid idea? If i force him into a treatment program with this threat of my telling his wife hanging over his head is it going to do him any good, or am I just putting my nephews at risk for no reason?

  • William Anderson Says ...
    William Anderson

    How is he going to enter a treatment program without his wife finding out he was using? She is going to find out. If she finds out you knew he was using and said nothing, especially if his continued using gets someone hurt, she will have a hard time forgiving you. 

    His best chance is to tell her now and get into treatment. If he tells her now and enters a detox, he has a chance of saving his marriage and connection to his kids. If he waits for her to find out another way or from someone else, it will be worse for him. Give him 10 minutes to tell his wife and leave for the detox. If he doesn't do it, let your sister know what you discovered.

    His addiction will cause him to say just about anything to avoid giving it up, and both of you would be foolish to fall for these "I'll quit tomorrow" stories as anything but stall tactics. You may want to believe them, and he may sincerely believe them too, but all addicts say these things and then, the next day, they can't help going out and using again and trying to get away with it.

    Help your brother-in-law get into treatment today. Sit down with him to make the phone calls and tell your sister. You don't have the luxury of waiting. If you wait, the next time he goes out to score, which will be tonight or tomorrow, it may be the last act in the desperate life of a crackhead in cracktown. Pray the kids aren't in the backseat. 


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