Mom and 15yo Daughter Suspicious and Distrustful, Always Fighting
anonymous Asks ...
I don’t really have extra money for counseling but I have a problem with my 15 year old daughter. She lies to me so much and I am always lecturing her for something she did wrong. It feels like even when one of us tries to say something nicely the other person is suspicious and acts bitchy or distrustful and it just goes downhill. We cant even have a nice conversation any more. I miss my daughter we used to be very close and now I don’t know how to get things back so we can laugh and have fun together like we used to.
David Johnson Says ...
I can feel the pain in your words. What courage you have to face this issue and recognize that you are a part of the problem! So few parents can do that. Recognition of the problem is the first step to solving it.
It's apparent from what you say, you will need some help to get through this. The distrust and misinterpretation is a major barrier to effective parenting. Have you told your daughter that you miss the relationship you had at one time? Try telling her and ask her what she thinks you and she can do to get back to that point again. That may give you enough rapport to get her cooperation to find some help.
I understand paying for counseling is a barrier. Check out your church and see if there is a qualified counselor offering free service. Other alternatives are your daughter's school, a local family service agencies, runaway youth programs, mental health centers, and training programs for counselors attached to local university graduate psychology or social work programs. There you will find at least sliding scale fee or even free service thought that may be limited. If you have health insurance, you may have coverage for counseling you don't know about.