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Having Sex with over 140 people is not Normal

  • anonymous Asks ...

    I am 23 and I have had over 140 sexual partners since I began having sex at the age of 15. I have never had a serious relationship but I am attractive and I have never had a problem finding guys for one night stands. I do have a problem making close friends, in fact the only real friends I have these days are the friends with benefits type and I’m not sure how sincerely these guys are really interested in me, once the sex is removed. I am feeling kind of depressed about my life right now. I am wondering if I have a problem with sex. It makes me good before and during but then after I feel kind of low. I realize that I have slept with a lot more guys than the average person. I never thought that this was a big deal but now I am wondering if I have a problem. Maybe this is connected to the reason why I have a hard time with close relationships. I am worried that I have a sex addiction. How can I know if the way is normal or not?

  • Dr. Shirley Schaye Says ...
    Dr. Shirley Schaye

    I am very sorry to be the bearer of bad news but I do want to steer you in the right direction so that you may get the help you need. Of course, having sex makes you feel better. It's something that makes everyone feel better ( if they are normal). However, what we need to focus on is that all you are having is sex with no caring or loving or emotional intimacy. So it would be great to have sex as often as you do, but I would like to see you having sex with someone that you have emotional intimacy with, as well. You certainly, I wouldn't think, want to spend your life continuing along the path you are going in. Let me ask you --- have you ever explored this problem with anyone? You certainly can turn this around --- i.e., continuing to have sex BUT with somebody who cares about you --- not with somebody who is merely a f**k buddy. If you tell me your city, state and zip code, I will  find a therapist for you who will helpyou turn this problem around. You, of course, don't need to give me your address but just where you are so I can find someone near you. Also, let me know if you need someone at low cost or not or if you have insurance indicate what insurance you have.

    I wish you well and await your response.

    Dr. Shirley Schaye



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