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Home » Expert Q & A » Sex Addiction » Sex Addiction: Jennifer Martin

Feelings for girls on porno webcams

  • anonymous Asks ...
    anonymous

    How bad is it to develop feelings for girls on porno webcams? I know it is really stupid and I am just money to these girls but there are a couple of girls that I really care about and I don’t feel OK if I don’t check in on them. It’s not just about the sex. It’s starting to cost me a lot of money but my feelings are real and I can’t pretend I don’t have them. I don’t know if these feelings are healthy or more like an addiction. What should I do?

  • Dr. Jennifer Martin Says ...
    Dr. Jennifer Martin

    Hi there,

    What you describe is not uncommon.  I don't doubt that your feelings are real.  Now, to answer your question, is it bad to develop feelings for girls on webcams?  There is no "right" or "wrong" here - just a toll (far beyond the financial one) that you will be faced with.  These women are unavailable.  To be blunt, the fantasy of a caring relationship with them is just that - a fantasy.  Individuals often find themselves fantasizing about unavailable romantic partners when they have difficulty with intimate relationships.  The fantasy serves to give them the "buzz" of the romantic relationship but it is based only on illusion. To answer your other question, no it is not healthy because the end result is loneliness and despair.  Withdrawal from fantasy (once it really takes hold) is very serious and some individuals consider suicide.  I recommend finding a counselor to talk about your feelings, preferably someone who understands love addiction.  You will know if this is an addiction if you find yourself wanting to stop these behaviors but you find you cannot - then the obsession has you in its grips.  If you need recommendations on counselors in your area feel free to email me at jennifer@relate2.net.  

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