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I think I'm Dying. Enjoy?

  • anonymous Asks ...

    I have liver cancer. I probably have less than a year to live. I do not really know how to deal with this. How do I come to terms with this so I can deal with this and get as much enjoyment as I can out of my last year? I have mobility issues that make getting to an office difficult.

  • Dr. Ari Hahn Says ...
    Dr. Ari Hahn

    I would love to be able to help you solve your dilemma. I have never been terminally ill. However, I can put you in the right direction.

    But before I do that, I need to say that when you say, "I probably have less than a year to live" how do you know that? I suspect that a doctor told you. How does he know that? He looked at statistics. You need to know that such statements are based on large numbers of people who are in a similar clinical situation and what percentage  of people live a certain amount of time. Even if 90% of the people similar to you clinically die in three days, there is no way of predicting if you, as an individual, will live for three days, three months, three years of 30 years. Statistics are based on large groups of people and cannot predict what will happen with you. 

    But you might know more than your doctor, and your might know that your time is limited. Or you might disagree but were convinced by him or her. Either way, I have two links that can be helpful. One is about a book. It is called, Tuesdays with Morrie."  Here is an excerpt:

    “‘Everybody knows they’re going to die, but nobody believes it. If we did, we would do things differently,’ Morrie said. ‘So we kid ourselves about death,’ I (Mitch) said. ‘Yes, but there’s a better approach. To know you’re going to die and be prepared for it at any time. That’s better. That way you can be actually be more involved in your life while you’re living. . . Every day, have a little bird on your shoulder that asks, ‘Is today the day? Am I ready? Am I doing all I need to do? Am I being the person I want to be?... The truth is, Mitch, once you learn how to die, you learn how to live… Most of us walk around as if we’re sleepwalking. We really don’t experience the world fully because we’re half asleep, doing things we automatically think we have to do… Learn how to die, and you learn how to live.’”—Tuesdays with Morrie

    Here is a link: http://www.randomhouse.com/features/morrie/excerpt.html

    The other about a professor who died a few years ago after a battle with cancer. He is a true inspiration for anybody who needs to learn how to live. This is a link to his final lecture: video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-5700431505846055184 His name was Randy Pausch. You can google him. 

    If you need help digesting and integrating all this, or coaching on achieving your goals for a positive life, please call me. 

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