Infidelity and Addiction
anonymous Asks ...
My sister just got out of rehab for her drinking 6 weeks ago and for the first time in years I feel like she is really going to make it this time. Unfortunately, I just found out today that her bastard husband cheated on her more than once while she was away getting treatment. I am absolutely sure that my information is true. Now what do I do? I can’t stand seeing him in her house knowing what he did to her but I am worried that if I tell her now she is going to get so angry and upset that she is going to start drinking again. How long should I wait before I tell her what I know? It feels so disloyal to not tell her right away but I just don’t think she is ready to get this kind of news yet.
Zelik Mintz Says ...
I can understand your dilemma - being torn between possibly triggering your sister's addiction and wanting to be honest and protective of her. It is always difficult to get involved in a couple's relationship. What happens inside a relationship is difficult to know from the outside no matter how close you are to someone in the relationship. I would suggest holding off telling her. Give the situation some time to see what happens between your sister and her husband. Is it possible to talk to your brother-in-law about what you know and your dilemma? It might be insightful and helpful to hear what he has to say and where he is coming from. Without all the facts and knowing all that goes on in a relationship, telling your sister may trigger your sister's addiction and she may turn against you for affecting her and her husband's relationship. You are not being disloyal by not telling her, you are being cautious and careful.