My Girlfriend is over 500 pounds and I'm worried about her! What do I do?
JQR Asks ...
My longtime girlfriend has gained so much weight, I don't know what to do. When we started dating 10 years ago she was maybe 180lbs, but over the years her weight has really crept up and is now over 500 pounds. She is really starting to have trouble getting around, but still she loves to eat like its not a problem. I am looking into getting a scooter for her so that she doesn't have to struggle so much to get around--but the most the 'heavy duty' scooters carry is 500! She's already past that! I'm worried that this will keep going, I don't know what to do.
I really don't want to hurt her feelings about it and show her that I love her no matter what size she is!
William Anderson Says ...
It's great that you are so supportive and loving, making it clear that that you love her and you are with her and supportive of her no matter what. Nagging and threatening is what most people do and it doesn't help. It just makes matters worse.
If you have not made it clear how worried you are that you will lose her, do it now. Ask her to go to counseling with you. Look for a counselor who has expertise with couple's or family therapy and also with eating disorders. Use the "Find a Therapist" function at Psychology Today.
She will probably resist at first. Be patient, don't nag, and persist gently with the request. There will come the day she says yes. Make the call, set the appointment, and I'm sure it will help get you going in the right direction.