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A concerned spouse: Wife has depression

  • anonymous Asks ...

    My wife has depression. When I got to the bookstore I see there is a lot of books on self help for depression. I would like my wife to try something and I think she would also like to try something. But I think that if I get her to try something and encourage her and it turns out to not be at all helpful then that is worse than doing nothing at all. I do not want to discourage her. Is there a self help book or program for depression that you would recommend that I buy? I would feel more comfortable getting into something after I had an expert recommend it. My wife is not seeing a therapist right now. She has worked with a therapist before and she says it did not help her so she does not want to do that again. Unfortunately, money is also an issue for us, especially with my wife out of work, so a paying for a therapist is also tough for us.

  • Meryl DeLena Says ...
    Meryl DeLena

    It is so nice you are so concerned. I think it's important to understand what is the cause of her depression? There may be something more specific you can look for rather than just any self help book. And you're right. The question is will she be receptive to it, or feel insulted? Does she ususally welcome your help? I always recommend therapy and giving it more than one try with different therapists until you make a connection. The relationship has to be positive for her so it can be healing. However, if she is interested in reading something go to Amazon.com and search for Self help or depression. Do it together and have her read some of the introductions to see what grabs her. That's the thing with self help. I tell patients to go to a Book store, grab a coffee, sit on the floor and skim the book types you're looking for until it jumps out at you. Then you know you will read it. WHat you like may not be what she likes...again their may be something specific to her depression. Encourage it as a project together....she may like that.

    Good Luck...Meryl

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