Is My Wife Gay, Or Is It a Mid-Life Crisis?

Thank you for your question. I am sorry to hear of your recent difficulty. I can see why you might be struggling to process the situation as it sounds like not only has your trust been compromised but you are wondering just who your wife really is.

It is interesting that she says she did not mean for you to find out...I wonder what that means to her? It sounds like your wife is very confused about herself too and I can't help but feel that it is a tall order for you to try to understand her right now when she is having difficulty understanding herself. I am afraid that I cannot tell you if your wife is having a mid-life crisis or not as things are not that cut and dried.

It sounds like some counselling could be helpful to you both. As well as having sessions together, your wife might find it useful to have some sessions alone too, so that she can work on getting to know herself again as a foundation for rebuilding your relationship, if you decide that that is what you both want.

I wish you both the best of luck for the future.