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How can I help my sister break out of her celebrity fantasy?

  • anonymous Asks ...

    My older sister has infatuations with male celebrities that are so serious that they keep her from having real relationships. In her mind no real man thats around here compares to the people in her head and on posters on her walls. She is 33 and she still has posters like a little teenager on her bedroom walls. I am worried about her but am not sure how to get her to change. I think underneath it all she is scared to get hurt so she plays it safe by living in a fantasy world. I do not think she is happy but she is too scared to change. Whenever I or any of my friends has problems in our relationships she uses this as evidence against real love but she does not see the good part. She refuses to get fixed up. She is pretty but to my knowledge she has never had a real relationship in her whole life. Is there anything I can do for her? She is 10 years older than me so she has always acted like she is wiser but it is obvious that she is not.

  • Penny Bell Says ...
    Penny Bell

    Because I know very little about your sister apart from that she has infatuations with male celebrities, I can’t really help you with the psychology of her behaviour. I think you have perceived correctly that she is keeping herself safe from the reality of genuine relationships with all the inherent emotional ups and downs and possible pain by clinging to fantasy, but unless we know her reason for this avoidance, and there will be a reason, we are groping in the dark. Having said this, I think the best way you can help your sister is to recommend she see a counsellor, even if she sees nothing wrong with her behaviour, if only just to check in for a mental health assessment, as there is a possibility that depression or anxiety could be driving this fantasy life, and/or that your sister has had some negative experiences with men in her early life. Failing that, the best you can do is to be a friend to your sister, listen carefully and empathically when she shares with you about her life and issues, and be there for her if and when her fantasy world collapses.

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