Anger and Other Emotions

First, let me say that your insight into the situation with your children and your determination to have a good relationship with them is commendable. I'm glad you want to improve things for yourself and your children.

My advice... Absolutely seek help with this. Anger is a complex emotion that very often involves many layers of other emotions. Gaining insight into your anger and other emotions, your thoughts and actions, and the way your cope can be very helpful in finding internal peace and calm.

Some areas of help for you might include: counseling, talking to clergy, parenting classes and/or parenting support groups. Each of these can provide you with alternative ways to cope with stressful situations, understand alternative approaches to parenting that help you get better results, and allow you to voice your concerns or frustrations. 

Use your empathy for your childrens' situation to keep you motivated toward change.