You don't need to be alone with your problems!
anonymous Asks ...
I am a high school Junior who gets bullied every day. I am called dyke and lesbian and fat pig and a lot of other names, especially by this one group of girls who hate me for no reason at all. I just try to ignore everyone and make it through the day but sometimes it is very hard. I am a lesbian but I am not ready to come out to my parents and my family is very religious. I have tried talking to my high school guidance counselor. What a joke that was. He told me I should try dressing prettier and not so much like a guy. Thanks a lot for that…that should fix my problems. He never did anything to the girls who bully me and it is not as like everyone around here does not see what is going on. I am sick of this but since the school won’t help me and I don’t want to get my parents involved (too many difficult conversations that I am not ready for about my sexual orientation) I have no idea about what to do. How can I make this stop without it becoming a big deal and without having more people staring and talking about me all of the time. I just want to get out of this town as soon as possible.
Dr. Shirley Schaye Says ...
I am so...ooo very sorry to hear about the struggles you are dealing with. It is sad that the guidance counselor could be of no help to you. If the school does not take action with those that are bullying you, there will be nothing that you can do to stop them. The school administrators would need to step in and stop this abusive behavior. It is unfortunate that you don't have your parents in your corner to help you negotiate with the school. Are you able to go speak with the principal? You could tell her/him about your interaction with the guidance counselor and how that wasn't of any help to you. Since you can't tell your parents about what is going on, are you able to tell them that you have not been feeling great and would like to be able to see a therapist to help you. You don't need to tell them that you are a lesbian. And you can be sure that if you find an ethical therapist that they would not tell your parents. If they did, it would be an ethical violation. I would be glad to help you find someone if your parents agree to help you with this --- meaning paying for the treatment. If you are interested in finding someone who can support you so that you are not struggling with this all alone, then give me your city, state and zip code. Do let me know if you would like me to help find someone.