Perfectionism vs. Self-Esteem
anonymous Asks ...
I have come to understand that my perfectionism is related to a lot of the anxiety I feel on a daily basis. I am tired of feeling worried and anxious and like nothing is ever good enough. I have always been a perfectionist. Is it possible for me to change this part of me?
Loren Gelberg-Goff Says ...
In a short answer, Yes, you can change. Perfectionism is a symptom of insecurity and uncertainty, fear and low self-esteem. Therapy will help. Working on and understanding the root of your need to be perfect will help you to change that behavior. Learning to understand and accept that 'who you are is enough' is critical... there is a difference between who you are and what you do or how you do it.
Getting to the source of your need to achieve perfection is key to changing this behavior and belief that nothing you do is good enough...
There are a variety of therapeutic interventions that can prove to be helpful: Talk therapy, with some hypnotherapy would be beneficial... Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) can also prove to be helpful as you modify your behaviors away from the stress of perfectionism. You might also be interested in neurofeedback which is shown to be very helpful in reducing anxiety reactions.
If self-help is the way you want to go, my book, Being Well Within: From Distressed to De-Stressed can be very helpful as there are workbook exercises at the end of each chapter to guide you to a healthier space internally.
All of the above are designed to help you move from a stressful place in your life (even if it's been 'forever') to a more centered and positive space
I understand how frustrating and upsetting your behaviors can be, and I want you to know that there is help available so that you can feel free of the stress of perfectionism and thus more empowered and fulfilled in your life. I hope that this gives you a new perspective so that you can move into your life with new direction and insights... All the best, Loren (www.fromdistressedtodestressed.com)