Helping the Helpers
Jeremy Hacker Asks ...
Hi. I don't usually come to others for help. If I do then I go to close family members. I am a 16 year old guy. My mind is really screwed up right now though. I'm dealing with a lot. Family issues, work, school, a girl I like who I have known my entire life. I believe that I have trust issues. I've been screwed over a lot in my past. I've also been lied to so much. I do believe in god. I do believe that everything happens for a reason, but I am so paranoid. I also have a suspicious mind or something. Every day I live in fear of what will happen for anything. Negative thoughts possess me everyday and they never go away. Especially when it comes to the girl. I feel as if she will be taken away from me or something just like many other things. It is hard for me to trust anyone really. There is so much, but I don't know you well enough to tell you. I'm sorry, but I don't feel comfortable just telling you everything through a website. I'm just trying to find an answer to end all this pain. My mom has helped me a decent amount, but there is still so much. I'm a Junior Firefighter, and I am also becoming an EMT. So I am usually the one helping people, but this just hurts too much. I saw this website, and I figured I'd give it a shot. Reply when you can.
Jim LaPierre Says ...
Hey there - thanks for reaching out to me. I totally understand not wanting to share your whole story via a website. Trust issues are tough - most of us (and by us I mean guys like you and me that have gone through a lot of painful experiences) really struggle to trust. It's personal and it's vulnerable and after a while it just feels like a chance that's not worth taking.
As a therapist, I don't ask people to trust me. I point out that it's vital that they be able to trust themselves and anything that interferes with that needs to change.
Being a junior fire fighter and going for your EMT...that tells me that you're giving to others what you want to receive. Good news - the best of us in the healing and helping professions are just like you. We have personal reasons for doing what we do professionally and the best of us are effective because we got the help we needed.
I'm glad to hear your mom has been helpful - here's my best suggestion:
Talk with mom about seeing a therapist (or other person you feel you could trust) and ask her to allow you the right to confidentiality (as a minor she can insist on hearing what you tell a therapist)
If your mom is agreeable, you can then know that by law, your confidence will be kept.
You refer to yourself as "paranoid" which in most cases is just how people tell me they're really anxious and/or afraid
I get it - your past has taught you to expect that things will go wrong.
Please take good care of yourself - please consider that at least in my case it was worth it to choose to trust someone - the pressure of holding it all in just gets to be too much.
Write to me again if I can offer suggestions or be otherwise helpful
Even though weve never met - I care - even though we don't know each other - I've been through tough times and I was a total mess at 16 (bet you're doing better than I was). Please be good to you and if you're willing to take it on faith - I promise - it gets better. Best, Jim