Having Hope & Being Powerless
anonymous Asks ...
Ive was seeing a guy for a few months who I believe is an alcoholic.. I noticed that the days he wasn't drinking he was short tempered and mean, then it started to get more abusive never physical but definitely mental abuse. For months I blamed myself thinking how did he just change. Ive spent months trying to help him to see that he needs help but this has only back fired and made him more angry at me. Recently I told him he was an alcoholic and surrounded himself with alcoholics to make himself feel better about that bad choices hes making, After I told him this he blocked me so I couldn't contact him anymore, for me it was a blessing he has been so abusive for months that I was glad he has shut me out, do you think there is any hope for a 37 year old who doesn't see they have a problem he drinks around the clock on the weekends and hes been taking to hospital due to his drinking.. His friends are like him... Why did he get so angry when I said your an alcoholic if he doesn't think he has a problem.. Is there anything I can do
Jim LaPierre Says ...
Hi there and thanks for your excellent question. Short answer - no, there's nothing you can do other than pray or send positive vibes or whatever works for you spiritually. It's a tough form of powerlessness when we care about someone and see that they're destroying themselves. Is there reason to have hope? Always and absolutely. People change when they're ready to and for most of us that requires that we become sufficiently sick and tired of being sick and tired. I've had the joy of working with a lot of folks who weren't ready only to meet up with them years later when they were. There is a time and a place for everything. Just do you and accept that it isn't time for him to get "it." ("It" = himself and his disease).
Be especially good to you :)