Self-Medicating and Escape.. Dangerous Combo
anonymous Asks ...
My 7 year old daughter died in a car accident 5 months ago. She was my only child. I am out of control with drinking and drugs. I went to an AA meeting but I am not ready for this. I do not want to hear other people’s tragedies and there is no way I am sharing mine. No one knows how much I am drinking. I go to this grief support group and everyone there thinks I am so good and I don’t want them to know that I am letting everything fall apart actually.
Florence Cameron Says ...
I'm sorry to hear about your loss. Losing a child can be devastating But escaping your grief is not going to help the situation. I hope you are seeking counsel to help you deal with the grief you feel. There are other recovery methods and programs that may be a better fit for you. Smart Recovery is one that comes to mind. It is important now to rely on your support group, family and friends, your church or any spiritual affiliation while your feelings of grief and loss are so fresh. Everyone has to go through an adjustment phase when there is an addition or subtraction to a family, as these events create crisis situations. I'm sure your daughter would want you to be strong and carry-on with your life.
Time will help ease the acute pain you're feeling now, however it is going to take a concerted effort on your part to want to get better. Your loss is so recent and the stages and process of loss and grief are individual to each person. Allow yourself to grieve your loss. There is no time-frame as to when someone actually recovers from the emptiness and lack of the presence of a loved one. Seeking family and friends, and therapeutic help to process the loss and establish viable alternatives to take care of yourself.
Neglecting yourself will not change the reality of "what is". I'm sure you have others who love you and are willing to help. Please consult your doctor and follow their advice as your alcoholism will progress and will eventually over-shadow and prolong your grieving process or destroy you in many other ways.
Keep your hands on the wheel of your life. Be patient and kind to yourself. Above all seek a mental health counselor or a grief loss group in your area.
Wishing you peace through this difficult time,
Jeannie Cameron, MS, NCC, LMHC