Being Held Hostage by the Disease of Alcoholism
anonymous Asks ...
What do I do when my girlfriend is still sneaking drinks even when she is 5 months pregnant with our child? If I say too much she will dump me. I cheated on her before I knew she was pregnant and I am on shaky ground with her. I worry if I am not watching her and living with her she will drink way more.
Florence Cameron Says ...
I can see your dilemma. That's a tough situation, but you shouldn't let her hold you hostage. These traits you speak of are indicative of co-dependence and care taking behaviors that will not stop once the baby is born. You cannot police your girlfriend forever. Unfortunately the baby will suffer from this behavior and there is a host of problems associated with fetal alcohol syndrome that you should gain knowledge about and present to your girlfriend. If it were me I would alert her doctor as this is your baby too. The fact that she is sneaking "drinking" tells me this is not new behavior and that she realizes she shouldn't be drinking, but can't stop on her own. This is a sign of alcoholism. If she doesn't get help with her addiction your relationship will not last anyway, nor will much else in her life. If the baby is born and needs to be detoxed, it is highly likely that family services will get involved in your lives. It's a though decision to make, however being a parent will now force you to make sacrifices you never thought you'd have to make. The health of the fetus sets the course for the remainder mental and physical health of the child into their adult life. it is now the time to be a hero in your child's life and demand your girlfriend get the necessary help she needs.
Jeannie Cameron, LMHC