anonymous Asks ...
My brother is an alcoholic. He has tried to quit drinking many times in the past but he never lasted more than a week or so before he sneaks back into some bar and then that’s the end of it.
I have heard that celebrities sometimes use sober coaches who follow them around 24 hours a day for the first while to help them stay sober. We are in no position to afford something like that but I am currently unemployed and I was thinking I could be my brother’s sober coach for a few weeks to help him get over the hump.
I was wondering if you thought this was a good idea or not. I would also like to know if you have any suggestions for me to help me make this work.
Thank you very much for taking the time to read my question,
Donna Hunter Says ...
Staying sober is difficult. Begin surrounded by people who are supportive and sober is great. However, there is a reason celebrities use coaches that are ideally trained and objective/ non family members. Getting clean also means getting in touch with feelings; anxiety, depression anger. It is easier at times to tell a family member to “leave me alone” when it is time to go to a meeting, than it is to tell this non partial.
If you do this have realistic expectations. You cannot keep him sober. If he chooses to drink he will find a way. He needs to change his life. You are not changing his life. He needs to go to meetings or to do whatever he has planned to get support from others in recovery. It would be helpful if you started to attend Al-Anon so you can understand what the family goes through and what you need to do to take care of yourself in this process. This coaching process is not a long term endeavor. He has to stand up on his own two feet and make good decisions whether you are there or not.