Can't look forward to getting high
anonymous Asks ...
Quit smoking pot after 12 years. By the end I hated it 95% of the time and it made me feel terrible. I should feel so happy and great that I am 35 days without a smoke and most of me is pretty pumped about getting this far but I can’t get over the disappointment of not having a joint to look forward to after doing something hard or difficult. What am I supposed to do to make this better? I am trying to think of things in a one day at a time outlook because the idea of never having that thing to look forward to is really upsetting and heavy…sort of depressing. I know in my brain that it is not worth destroying 23 and half hours a day just to have that one good half an hour but my gut and emotions just feel like they feel.
Zelik Mintz Says ...
First I'd like to give you props for quitting smoking pot since you've expressed how it has made you feel terrible. You didn't mention if you have support set up to deal with being sober or just having quit on your own. What you are going through is very common. After 12 years of smoking pot, you are very used to using pot as a reward and likely a way of relaxing. You're hardwired to anticipate and reach for pot after doing something hard or difficult. Without being able to satisfy the desire, life may seem empty and, indeed, like there is nothing to look forward to. This is part of the addiction. How have you used pot to self-medicate as a way of dealing with problems or boredom or uncomfortable feelings? Learning to find healthy ways to reward and relax is not easy after 12 years of using pot to do so. I would recommend finding a group (NA - Narcotics Anonymous) where you can get support from other people going through the same struggles with drugs as you are. Since you didn't say how much, often, why and if smoking pot affects your life (motivation, relationships) in negative ways - aside from feeling terrible when you smoke - I don't know what would be most helpful . But finding support and commonalities with others can help you address the difficult issues of giving up getting high.