When to intervene
anonymous Asks ...
My boyfriends parents are both giant alcoholics. He says he wont ever drink because he never wants to wind up like them. Good for him I say because I don’t drink either. He does smoke a lot of weed. He says weeds not addictive. I think my boyfriend has a problem but I do not know how to convince him that he might have a problem. He so badly doesn’t want to end up like his parents but when I see him baked at the end of every night and I see them drunk on the couch at the end of every night watching TV I can see that there is definitely something more the same than different about it.
Dr. Lani Chin Says ...
Thanks for your post. It sounds like you're going through a tough time. You're boyfriend is lucky to have you on his side.
You sound very concerned about his marijuana use. You're stuck in a pretty difficult situation because while you're concerned, it doesn't sound like you're boyfriend feels there is any problem. Unfortunately, there is no way to make him get help or force him to stop smoking. What you can do is talk to him about your concerns and how important it is for you that he get some help for himself. You can also talk about how there are some genetic links to addiction so if his parents have a drinking problem, there is an increased likelihood that he will also have an addiction. Your boyfriend is definitely in denial about his use and marijuana can be just as addictive as alcohol. You can look up some Marijuana Anonymous meetings in your neighborhood to go with him to or you can also help him find a therapist. Maybe if he talks about his reasons for using, he can see how marijuana may be impacting his life in some not so positive ways.
Good luck to both of you. If you are in the Los Angeles area, I'd be happy to help either or both of you: www.drlanichin.com.