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Long Term Sobriety Feels Like a Burden

  • anonymous Asks ...
    anonymous

    Is it normal to feel that having a clean date that get’s farther away is like a big weight that you have to carry that gets heavier every day? I feel like I want to go out and get loaded just to get back to having a clean date like a week or so ago that I am comfortable with. I am 102 days sober right now and it is getting real heavy.

  • Jim LaPierre Says ...
    Jim LaPierre

    Hey - thanks for this. Your question is excellent and it's something people don't talk enough about. For most folks, the longer they stay sober the more in touch they are with their emotions and staying sober long term can be scary. It's like climbing a ladder - the higher you go the further you have to fall.

    I love the cable tv series show "Suits." The main character described addiction concisely with the line, "An addict will jump out of a third story window because he's afraid of falling out of the penthouse."

    We self destruct because we believe that fucking up is inevitable.

    You may be sick of hearing this - but sobriety is only 24 hours at a time. Just don't use today and the hell with how many days you've accumulated. If it feels like pressure than change the way you're looking at it. All you have to do is not use today.

    Pressure = stress. Stress demands an outlet - don't accumulate stress - focus on what you want to do next and just keep telling yourself that you don't want to use today and that tomorrow you can decide anew.

    Good luck to you - let me know if I haven;t covered it or if you have other questions.

    Asking the question you've posed shows loud and clear that you want this and you're scared of fucking up. Thats a healthy fear - keep exposing it - keep sharing it with others - that's the key to not letting it run you. Good luck!

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