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Home » Expert Q & A » Alcoholism » Alcoholism: Jim LaPierre

Drinking to Not Feel

  • Asks ...

    Why do alcoholics try to insist that you drink with them? Is part of being an alcoholic having abdoment issues?

  • Jim LaPierre Says ...
    Jim LaPierre

    Hi there! Most alcoholics dislike drinking alone for the simple reasons that it's lonely, depressing, and tends to increase awareness of how much they're drinking and how sad things are. Abandonment issues are common amongst alcoholics, but even more salient is the feeling of being apart from instead of a part of - hence the desire to have you drink with them. My approach is most often to simply decline the drink and accept the company if I care to. The key is to set boundaries and to call a spade a spade as the expression goes. It's often uncomfortable but I readily say things like, "When I said I didn't want to drink, what I meant was that I don't want a drink." I don't say these things to be unkind but rather to prevent further attempts to change my mind. Best of luck to you!

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